I’ve been wanting to do this for so long and I think it’s finally time. I’ve been so hesitant to tell this story because it’s so personal but I know there are other people going through the same thing and I think it might help someone feel like they’re not alone. There’s a reason why I’m low key about my love life but I want to let you guys in on it. Though I’ve had a few boyfriends in the past, I’ve never experienced heartbreak like I did last year. Overcoming a heartbreak has been one of the most mentally challenging things I’ve had to deal with and am still struggling with. Before I go into how I got my heart broken (sounds so cliché, I know) I’ll need to explain how I fell in love.
I won’t be naming the guy BTW..
Anyways, I met the guy through mutual friends and well, I was never interested in him or never thought I would be at least. We hung out once and he was really cool. We hung out a few times until I realized that I had never got along so well with someone. We just understood each other, it was really crazy. Maybe for him it was a normal thing but for me, it was really hard to connect with people on a deeper level. Fast forward a couple of weeks, we proclaimed our “like” for each other and it was pretty lit.
We hung out almost everyday, just doing the most simple things. I really just enjoyed his company. I think one of my favorite things was sitting in the car until 3 a.m. just talking about our goals and how we were going to achieve these things. I had never been with someone that motivated me so much. Mind you, this was before I started auxcordshawty. Somehow, we never ran out of things to talk about. The moment I had to go home, I missed him. He made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world and not once did I need to question his faithfulness. He made it very clear I was the only person he had eyes for. Every kiss felt so special. It almost felt like there was something else connecting us. I don’t really know how to explain it. I just loved everything about this kid, his flaws and all. He had a lot of them but I learned how to work with them.
Let this be a reminder that this is my perspective of the whole relationship, I have no idea if he felt all these things too but for now, we can assume he did.
I want to skip over the gushy part and describe the exact moment I felt in love.
EDC 2016 might have been one of the best weekends of my life. This might give the “mystery man” away but oh well.. Idk if you guys have been to a music festival but being around people for 12 hours in the heat while being dehydrated really brings out a different side to people.
We spent the entire weekend with each other which was probably the most time we had spent together consecutively. Anyways, the whole weekend I just thought about how happy I was with my life and how lucky I was to have this man in my life that brought me so much positivity and motivation.
On the second night of EDC. I remember so very clearly walking through a huge crowd of people to get to the main stage while the fireworks were going off. As we walked closer to the stage they began to play my favorite song at the time which I had sent him months before the festival because I told him the song made me feel the way I felt when I was with him. this is the song…
Anyways, as I was leading him through the crowd, I turned back to look at him and that was the exact moment I knew I was in love. At that exact moment, I had never felt happier in my life. I stopped in between the crowd to hug him and I started bawling my eyes out out of pure joy. As we were hugging, I said “I love you so much!” and he told me he loved me too.
Every time I hear that song, it makes me cry of joy regardless of how things have ended, I will always have that memory.
Things were great after EDC, we never argued or fought. It was a really good and healthy relationship. It wasn’t perfect but that’s normal.
A week later, I went to Puerto Rico with my family and a week after that I left to Costa Rica with my best friend. I was gone for almost 3 weeks but we still talked every day and tried to FaceTime when I could. I’m not sure what happened with in that time but when I got back I was mostly excited to see him. Things didn’t seem to be the same though. Being the way I am, I asked him what was going on and he didn’t say much. I really wanted to get to the bottom of it. We didn’t speak for the rest of the night and a day later he broke up with me.
His reasoning for this was that I posed too much of a distraction and he really just needed to focus on his career. Pretty sure we’ve all heard that before…
So, cool. I let it be. I was hurt but I was supportive of the fact we wanted to focus on his career. We remained friends and made sure we were doing good. I guess a part of me believed we would get back together eventually, so I held on to that hope. Worst. mistake. ever.
It’s been almost 6 months since we broke up and it’s taken me all this time to convince myself that it’s okay to be alone. Life moves on. I think about this relationship and what I did wrong. It almost baffles me because I literally did nothing wrong. I feel like it was my fault and I hate myself for ruining something so amazing. But I learned that I am amazing. I did nothing wrong. He just wasn’t the one. As hard as it is to convince yourself that he isn’t the one, you just have to. We are so young. Heartbreak doesn’t just happen once, it is all part of the process.
The biggest lesson I learned from this was learning to love myself. It sounds crazy to someone like me because I give my entire soul to people without hesitation and other people are selfish. Through doubting what I did wrong, I learned that I am worthy of the love I am willing to give. I won’t settle for less.
For those of you that are going through something similar, please know your worth. Don’t let someone suck the life out of you or have you wondering what you did wrong. You are perfectly fine, you don’t have to apologize for being yourself. Be you. It sounds so cliche but be a good person. Do good things and you will attract the right person. Most importantly, be patient. This is my biggest struggle but I’m learning.
I kind of feel a weight lifted off of me for sharing such a personal subject but I hope something good comes out of it.
With the end of the year quickly approaching, I felt the need to make a closing statement. As much as I love following trends and being up to date with everything on Twitter and Instagram; there are just a few things we need to leave behind. This was a crazy year in pop culture where many things went viral and trends blew up but we definitely need to come back to reality. The good news is that we get a clean slate once the new year begins.
Here are a few trends we need to leave in 2016…
- Rainbow Hair and Rainbow lip colors. Kylie Jenner is going to run out of colors for her LipKits. You guys can stop now.
- Hyping up Instagram models. Hey, I’m not knocking their hustles but some of these girls have thousands of followers for posting half-naked pictures and that’s it. LET’S LEAVE THAT IN 2016 and start hyping up girl bosses with clothing brands, dope artwork and cool blogs! (;
- _______ Challenges. S/0 to Rae Sremmurd for literally taking over the world with the Mannequin Challenge but after that I heard about the Chuck E. Cheese Challenge and I just about flipped my shit.
- Hating J. Cole. I don’t like his music either but y’all gotta stop with the shit talking. I feel like people hate on him just to feel relevant.
- DISTRESSED SHIRTS/SWEATERS. Are you guys for real paying $300 for a ripped sweaters with stretched out arms with a Yeezy tag on it?? Can’t relate.
- Flexing on social media. Nobody cares that you’re sipping lean on a Monday night or smoke 1,000 blunts a day. I’m skipping through your snapchat story.
- Also being extra sensitive on social media. I don’t really care when people come at me sideways for stating my opinions but some people really go the extra mile.
- STOP CLAIMING YOU’RE A “CRAZY” GIRLFRIEND. That psycho chick trend seriously needs to stop. Stop checking his phone and asking for passwords etc… If you don’t trust him, move on boo.
- We need to leave the “New vs. Old” school hip-hop/rap debate in 2016. There’s really no argument for opinions, just save your breath.
- Stop hating pineapple pizza, it never did anything to you.
Let’s start the year off by being better people. Treat your family well, eat your veggies, and mind your business. Promise it will be a good year. Oh, and don’t forget to WORK HARD for the things you want to achieve. Social media isn’t everything. This is a lesson I’m still learning but it’s definitely a process. Don’t obsess about unrealistic things you see on social media, instead go out and make things happen. You got this. 2017 is the year of the SAVAGES.
I know I am not alone when I say I felt disgusted and uneasy when the last couple of votes came in which pulled Donald Trump over the 270 electoral votes needed to be elected for President. On November 9th, I walked outside my house and felt that everything was moving slowly and the weather was gloomy. It almost felt like we were all mourning the loss of our beloved country. I sat in class and rigorously wrote all my thoughts on a piece of paper so I felt I should share some of those thoughts with you all. I looked at this as an educational opportunity, hopefully we can all learn from this entire experience. Here are my five take-aways from this election…
- First thing is first, we could’ve elected Bernie Sanders as Presidential nominee had his following (millennials, Gen Xers, women, minorities, students, working-class) voted in the caucuses/primaries. In Nevada, the caucus turnout was only 8% of registered voters. ONLY EIGHT PERCENT. The only people who even know about the caucus are retired people that don’t have much to do. Next election we NEED to participate in the Nevada Caucus.
- Ok, this next one is a little touchy but I’m going to say it anyways… In sociology, there is a phenomena or theory called “passing”. “Passing is the ability of a person to be regarded as a member of an identity group or category different from their own, which may include racial identity, ethnicity, caste, social class, sexuality, gender, religion, age and/or disability status.” I believe I fall under this category where most people think I’m white; although I am fully hispanic (and proud). Because of this, I have never faced racial discrimination or anything of that sort, therefor I always ignored the issues surrounding me. This election taught me that there is a lot of progress to be made. It is almost scary how many people supported Donald Trump even after all the racial, anti-feminist, exclusionary remarks he made over and over again. Not once did he apologize for his actions.
- From now on, we must acknowledge what just happened and continue to work hard. Now is the time to work even harder towards our goals and show the other half of this country that we are not just Hispanic, Black, Muslim or Female. But instead show them we will be successful individuals that will NOT be put into any category and will NOT be defined by the color of our skin or our sexual preferences.
- The 2016 election should also be a wake-up call for everyone to be more educated on the subject and educate others. This was my first time voting and I wish I was a little more prepared. Sometimes I think I could’ve made more of an impact in my community. Only half of the population in Nevada voted, that should say a lot. Don’t get me wrong, we did our part by choosing Hilary but that clearly wasn’t enough.
- Lastly, let us not stoop down to the level of Donald Trump’s rationality. There is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Remember everything happens for a reason. Before we lose all hope, let’s stay positive and hope everything doesn’t go to shit. Maybe a miracle will happen between now and January 20th and if not, we still need to stick together and be POSITIVE.
Until next time…✌
Sooooo in the spirit of Halloween, I decided to give you guys a flash back to a Halloween Party my friends and I threw 2 years ago. We kept this video pretty low key but I think it’s time to bring out from the dead. My parents are probably going to watch this and they might kill me but I’ll suffer the consequences for your entertainment purposes. I was dressed as Wonder Woman, see if you can spot me (;. If you’re going out this weekend please be safe and watch your alcohol intake! If you need a ride, use my Uber code: chelseab6832ue
Sooooo summer’s over. I know I’m not the only one that is extremely sad about this. But, hey, what can ya’ do? It’s time to get our heads back in the game! I thought about writing a survival guide or a back to school supplies list but what everyone REALLY needs is a pep-talk.
This summer was probably the best one yet. I went to Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, EDC Las Vegas, and California. I saw so many people travel this summer too; so I know everyone had a great summer. But, it’s over know and it’s time to hit the books. For me, the hardest thing about going back to school is changing my sleep schedule. I know I’m not the only one that stays up until 1 a.m. watching Netflix in bed.
Every semester we say “Alright, this is it, I’m getting straight A’s this semester, no going out, no messing around. I’m going to study for every test and stay at the library for hours.” BUT IT NEVER HAPPENS. Make it happen this semester. This is a reminder for everyone that is struggling with their GPA. You can do it! It’s really not that hard to stay in every other weekend to catch up with work and just get things done as soon as they’re assigned. Trust me when I say I’m the queen of procrastination, but I’m really going to keep myself in the game and get my grades poppin’. Let’s do this together, repeat after me: I will get my shit together this semester!
If you’re anything like me and have nothing ready for your first week of school here’s a last minute shopping list:
- Led Pencils
- Colorful Pens
- A 5 subject notebook
Alright, alright, enough with the stereotypes. ESLV isn’t THAT bad! Shout out Dizzy for putting us on the map.
Here’s what it’s like to live in the East.
- We grew up going to SAM’s Town or Boulder Station for the movies or bowling. We know those places like the back of our hands.
- We’ve celebrated at least one birthday at Olive Garden on Nellis.
- We try our best to stay away from Walmart on Stewart but we’ve all been there at 11 p.m. in our Pajamas.
- We idolize the old lady dressed as the Statue of Liberty around Tax season on Stewart and Nellis.
- We’ve all gone trick-or-treating on Tree Line.
- The only way we know where the East is from any other side of town is by looking for the Mormon Temple.
- The In-N-Out line is always WAY too long but we wait in it anyways.
- You literally can’t go ANYWHERE without knowing someone.
- Any East side party is a huge high school reunion.
- AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE AN EAST SIDE PARTY and every other side of town knows that.
- We’ve all been on an ice cream “date” in a car at Sonic.
- We all know where “the View” was, some even know about multiple views but they’re all shut down now.
- We’ve all spent a 4th of July or New Years up on Hollywood somewhere.
- We all have beef with someone on the East but at the end of the day we’re all family.
- …and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you’re not from the East.